Ask Liz Weston

Get smart with your money

Liz Weston

Q&A: Her dead ex’s kids can’t dictate benefits

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Dear Liz: My husband and I were living apart but not legally separated when he passed away. He was receiving disability benefits. His children, who are grown, tell me I am not eligible for widow or survivor benefits and that only they can collect his benefits. I am disabled myself and 51. Do their claims hold any weight? Could he have removed me as a recipient?

Answer: No and no. The children are wrong, not just about your eligibility for benefits but also about their own. Social Security survivor benefits typically aren’t available to children over 18, but they are available to widows and widowers starting at age 60, or starting at 50 if the spouse is disabled.

As long as you weren’t divorced, you would be eligible for survivor benefits. And if you had divorced, you could still be eligible for survivor benefits if the marriage lasted at least 10 years.

You can call the Social Security toll-free number at (800) 772-1213 for more information.

Q&A: When your friends seem to have more money than you: Getting over money envy

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Dear Liz: I am a 41-year-old man who is married with small children. I have finally reached the point financially where I am meeting or exceeding personal goals for retirement, college savings and reduced monthly expenses. I have a high income. I drive a piece-of-crap car because it’s paid for, but I am still hemorrhaging cash! Yet my peers are buying second homes at the lake or in ski country. What am I doing wrong?

Answer: Congratulations! You’re doing a lot right with your money, and you may not be doing anything wrong. To borrow a phrase, you can’t judge your insides by other people’s outsides.

Some of your peers may have inherited money, or received infusions from generous parents. More likely, they’re not saving enough, or at all, for retirement or their children’s educations.

They also may be deeply in debt. Although their lives may look good on the outside now, their futures may be a lot less flush.

You can’t know how other households conduct their financial affairs, so keep focusing on your own situation and how you can make it better. If you feel like you’re hemorrhaging cash, track where the money is going for a while. If you discover as a family that you’re spending on things that aren’t important to you, you and your spouse can look for ways to redirect spending to better support your values.

Friday’s need-to-know money news

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Today’s top story: Want a raise in 2021? You may not even need to ask for it. Also in the news: How to be effective with your generosity in 2020, how to prepare for student loan payments to restart in 2021, and what to do if you’re behind on your rent or mortgage.

Want a Raise in 2021? You May Not Even Need to Ask for It
If you got a big tax refund last year, changing your W-4 form at work could put more money in your pocket now.

How to Be Effective With Your Generosity in 2020
Where your money can do the most good.

How to Prepare for Student Loan Payments to Restart in 2021
Time’s almost up.

Behind on your rent or mortgage? Here’s what to do
Important steps to follow.

Thursday’s need-to-know money news

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Today’s top story: How to put 2020 financial survivor’s guilt to good use. Also in the news: The best tips for retirement savings at any age, how COVID-19 is accelerating no-exam life insurance, and is the new Visa Bitcoin rewards card worth it?

How to Put 2020 Financial Survivor’s Guilt to Good Use
Donating time or money can help people who have had economic setbacks in the pandemic — and also those who haven’t.

Best Tips for Saving for Retirement — at Any Age
It’s never too late — or too early — to make sound financial decisions and get yourself set up for retirement.

COVID-19 accelerates no-exam trend in life insurance
Social distancing mandates have hindered the medical exams that are often required for life insurance applications

Is the New Visa Bitcoin Rewards Card Worth It?
Visa dives into cryptocurrency.

Wednesday’s need-to-know money news

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Today’s top story: How to maximize travel rewards on holiday spending this year. Also in the news: Your guide to hotel travel with pets, why renting out your RV has become a lucrative pandemic side hustle, and how to avoid this fake Zoom meeting invite phishing scam.

How to Maximize Travel Rewards on Holiday Spending This Year
Think of your once-a-year holiday shopping as an opportunity to earn more points on your travel credit card.

Your Guide to Hotel Travel With Pets
Finding a pet-friendly hotel can seem complicated unless you know what to look for.

Why Renting Out Your RV Has Become a Lucrative Pandemic Side Hustle
Renewed interest in traveling by motorhome or camper van has fueled the growth of the RV rental market.

Avoid This Fake Zoom Meeting Invite Phishing Scam
Not even your boring work meetings are safe.

Putting financial survivor’s guilt to good use

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Financial therapist Lindsay Bryan-Podvin of Ann Arbor, Michigan, specializes in helping people deal with their anxieties about money. But since the pandemic started, Bryan-Podvin has been hearing more about guilt than fear.

Several people who still have jobs and financial security felt guilty about having been spared while others suffered, says Bryan-Podvin, author of “The Financial Anxiety Solution.”

“I would start to hear things like, ‘I shouldn’t be complaining — my partner has it so much worse,’ or ‘I can’t even believe I’m telling you this because so-and-so in my neighborhood lost their job,’” she says.

The feelings clients expressed and the language they used were almost identical to what Bryan-Podvin hears from people with post-traumatic stress disorder, a mental health disorder that can be triggered by experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event.

In my latest for the Associated Press, what Bryan-Podvin offers better ways to cope.