Ask Liz Weston

Get smart with your money

Inheritance

Q&A: How to find an estate planning attorney

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Dear Liz: Is there a specific website to research estate planning attorneys in Southern California? Our attorney has retired and I elected not to have my file transferred to her successor attorney. Our trust documents are only six years old and there have been no material changes to our financial situation or beneficiaries.

Answer: The internet is overloaded with lawyer directories of limited value. Either the sites themselves are questionable or they return so many options that choosing feels like an impossible task.

So the best way to find a good estate planning attorney is the old school way: word of mouth. If you have a CPA or other financial professional, ask who they recommend. Know any lawyers? Check with them. Friends, relatives and neighbors also may be able to offer referrals.

Once you have a few names, the internet becomes a bit more helpful. The state bar of California offers an attorney search function that allows you to confirm the attorney’s license status, education and any disciplinary history. The attorney’s website can also provide information about their background, experience and approach.

Since estate planning is a complex area, you’ll want an attorney who specializes rather than dabbles. Ideally, estate planning is their sole or primary focus, not an add-on to other areas of practice. For more complex needs, you can consider seeking out an attorney who is certified by the California State Bar as an estate planning, trust and probate law specialist. If you need help with issues around aging, such as Medicaid planning, long-term care or protection against exploitation, consider seeking the help of an elder law attorney. You can get referrals from the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys at www.naela.org.

Q&A: How do you force heirs to pay?

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Dear Liz: My husband and his six siblings inherited a large family farm. No one lives there; it is used recreationally. Our limited liability corporation is set up so that only blood relatives can inherit. If they don’t want it, they can sell their share (only to family) for 40% of the value. The seven current owners all pay equally for the upkeep.

Our question is what to do with the next generation if some don’t want to pay their share of the upkeep, and also don’t want to sell. This is a very likely scenario. How to “force” them to pay? About half of the grandchildren (13 of them) will be all in, the other half probably won’t care to pay. My husband and I are the youngest of the owners, and we most likely will need to deal with this someday. If you don’t have a solution, what type of lawyer would be best to consult with?

Answer: It’s impressive and perhaps even astonishing that seven people have been able to successfully share ownership of this property so far. Expecting the next generation to do the same, with nearly twice as many people involved, is almost certainly asking too much.

An experienced estate planning attorney can offer suggestions on how to manage this property and address options if heirs don’t pay their share, either due to unwillingness or inability. (Keep in mind that heirs who are ready to pay their fair share now may not always be able to do so if their economic fortunes change.) Most likely, forcing payment would require the cousins to resort to the courts, so the current owners need to think deeply about what’s most important: keeping this property in the family or preserving family harmony.

Q&A: Friends don’t ask friends for condos

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Dear Liz: I have a younger friend who has asked me to leave them a condo I own. I would prefer the condo remain in my daughter’s name, and designate that the income from the condo go to my friend after my death. Is there a way to do this?

Answer: Your friend just handed you a massive red flag. Please heed this warning that they may not be trustworthy.

Generally speaking, people shouldn’t be asking for bequests for themselves. That’s especially true when the request is unsolicited — in other words, if you didn’t open the door by requesting what they might want from your estate.

Someone who feels comfortable enough to ask for a handout after your death may have no compunction about helping themselves to your money while you’re still alive. Financial elder abuse is a huge problem, and the perpetrators are often people the victim knows such as friends, family and caregivers.

Please tell your daughter about this request, and consider going together to an estate planning attorney. The attorney can make sure your estate plan is in order and discuss ways you can protect yourself from schemers and fraudsters.

Q&A: When money disappears from a mother’s estate

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Dear Liz: My mother recently passed and my sister is handling all the legalities. At one point, my sister mentioned our mother had a sizable savings account plus two retirement accounts valued at $400,000, and that I would receive something. Now she is simply saying, “I don’t know where the money has gone.” She handled all my mother’s finances for years before her death. How is this possible? I can’t hire an attorney, nor do I want to alienate my sister or seem greedy. What should I do?

Answer: If your sister handled your mother’s finances for years and she’s settling the estate, then she almost certainly knows where the money went. Why she won’t tell you is the mystery.

Your mother’s money may have been eaten up by long-term care expenses, which can be breathtakingly expensive. That’s especially true if there was a long gap between your sister’s disclosure about the accounts and your mother’s death.

If that were the case, though, your sister could just say so.

There are many other possibilities. Your mother could have been scammed, or gambled away the money, or been the victim of financial elder abuse. Abusers are often people the elders know, including relatives and caregivers.

Perhaps your sister didn’t help herself during your mother’s lifetime, but arranged to be the beneficiary of all the accounts, either with or without your mother’s consent.

You don’t have many options if you aren’t willing or able to consult an attorney, but you wouldn’t be greedy to ask for some clarity from your sister.

Q&A: An aunt left him out of her will. Can his siblings share the windfall?

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Dear Liz: My brother and I have received a cash inheritance from our aunt, as have our cousins, among a few others. Our youngest brother was excluded, as was our cousins’ youngest sibling. I believe my aunt, who was 96 when she died and in her 80s when her will was done, simply forgot these two as the family was spread out and contact was infrequent. My brother and I want to do the right thing for our younger brother and give him an equal share from our inheritance. I know most states don’t have inheritance taxes, but since he won’t technically be inheriting it I wonder if there are any other tax implications for us or him.

Answer: Whenever gift taxes are owed, which is rarely, they’re paid by the giver.

Dividing your inheritance with your brother would be a gift to him, so he would owe no taxes. You might have to file a gift tax return if the amount you give him is more than $19,000 (the current annual gift tax exclusion amount). But you wouldn’t owe gift taxes until the amount you give away over that annual limit exceeds your lifetime limit, which in 2025 is $13.99 million. The same is true for your other brother — a gift in excess of the $19,000-per-recipient annual exclusion would require filing a tax return, but probably not paying taxes.

Gifts in excess of the annual exclusion also reduce the amount you can pass free of estate taxes after your own death. If you’re a multimillionaire and likely to face these taxes, please consult an estate tax attorney.