Liz Weston

Dear Liz: Is it legal for my parents to appoint me co-executer of their estate, along with my sister, without asking me first if I was okay with this, and keeping me as co-executer after I told them I do not want the responsibility? My sister is more intelligent and competent than I am and would do a better job of this by herself.

Answer: Your parents can name pretty much anyone they want, but that doesn’t mean you’re legally obligated to accept the role when they die. You’ll have the right to decline.

If your parents don’t name an alternate, your sister may be allowed to serve on her own or another executor may be appointed by the court, depending on how the will is written.

Obviously, your parents are being short-sighted by trying to force you to serve when you’ve made your feelings clear. Being an executor can be a time-consuming, complex and often thankless task that shouldn’t be foisted on anyone who’s not willing. If they don’t trust your sister to function alone, they should name someone else—and get that person’s permission before they do. It’s smart to name an alternate or two besides, in case their choices also decide they don’t want to serve.