Ask Liz Weston

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Estate Planning

Q&A: Getting sister’s house without a will

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Dear Liz: When I retired in 2018, I rolled over my 403(b) teachers retirement account into a traditional IRA and made my sister sole beneficiary. I sent her a copy of that beneficiary statement showing her name, her percentage (100%), and my account number. My sister later told me in a phone call that she wished to bequeath me her house should she predecease me. She explained she didn’t have a will but she made her feelings known to our older brother. Even if I were on speaking terms with our older brother, I would find this arrangement naive. Knowing my sister, she actually believes this method is the right way to proceed with her wishes. I’m asking you to be Dear Abby, perhaps, but what do I do?

Answer: You can explain to her that if she doesn’t have a will, the laws of her state will determine who gets her house regardless of what she intended. If your sister does not have a spouse or children, and your parents are dead, you and your brother would probably inherit the home as well as the rest of her estate. You would have to negotiate what to do with the house, which could be difficult if you two still aren’t speaking.

If you can’t get her to write a will, there may be another option. Many states allow “transfer on death” deeds, which are forms that allow people to name a beneficiary for their home. This would ensure that the house is left to you and that it avoids probate, the court process that otherwise follows death.

Q&A: When an executor doesn’t heed the will

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Dear Liz: My dad’s will clearly divided his estate equally between his two sons. By the time Dad died, my brother had two kids. After the funeral, my sister-in-law sat me down and told me that everything will be divided into three parts. I would get one-third and they get two-thirds, because they had the kids. This was not a request; it was, “That’s the way it’s going to be and there’s nothing you can do about it.” My brother, who was the executor, was nowhere to be seen — a pattern when dealing with money issues. This was many years ago. I was a student at the time. I went along with it but wonder to this day about the fairness of the situation.

Answer: Wonder no more. If the situation was as you describe and your brother ignored your father’s will, then he wasn’t just unfair to you. He violated the law.

Executors are supposed to follow the will’s directions to the best of their ability. If they don’t, they can be held personally responsible. But each state has statutes of limitation that give you only a certain amount of time to file a civil lawsuit in these situations. You may have a bit more time if you were a minor when all this happened, but you’d want to consult an attorney to discuss your options.

You wouldn’t be the first person done out of an inheritance by a self-dealing sibling, unfortunately. This should be a reminder to parents not to reflexively choose the oldest child, or indeed any child, to fill this role without thinking about the child’s character.

Thursday’s need-to-know money news

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Today’s top story: Should you leave your kids an equal inheritance? Also in the news: The Points Nerd on who we can trust about travel safety, a student loan expert takes her own advice, and how to apply for a credit card when you don’t have a credit score.

Should You Leave Your Kids an Equal Inheritance?
Consider family dynamics.

Ask a Points Nerd: Whom Can We Trust About Travel Safety?
Err on the side of caution.

A student loan expert takes her own advice
Making the system work.

How to Apply for a Credit Card When You Don’t Have a Credit Score
Build up your credit worthiness.

Don’t give your adult kids your house

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Adding an adult child to your house deed, or giving them the home outright, might seem like a smart thing to do. It usually isn’t.

Transferring your house to your kids while you’re alive may avoid probate, the court process that otherwise follows death. But gifting a home also can result in a big, unnecessary tax bill and put your house at risk if your kids get sued or file for bankruptcy. You also could be making a big mistake if you hope it will help keep the house from being consumed by nursing home bills.

In my latest for the Associated Press, learn the better ways to transfer a house to your kids, as well as a little-known potential fix that may help even if the giver has since died.

Wednesday’s need-to-know money news

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Today’s top story: Laid off due to Coronavirus? Take these 6 steps. Also in the news: NerdWallet Experts’ tips on handling finances during coronavirus, my experience flying from Mexico to the U.S. during the Coronavirus pandemic, and how to make a will during the Coronavirus lockdown.

Laid Off Due to Coronavirus? Take These 6 Steps
Keeping your head above water.

NerdWallet Experts’ Tips on Handling Finances During Coronavirus
Advice from the pros.

My Experience Flying from Mexico to the U.S. During the Coronavirus Pandemic
It’s a different world.

How Do You Make a Will During the Coronavirus Lockdown?
Getting creative.

Your kids don’t want your stuff

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Estate appraiser Julie Hall advises downsizing clients not to take it personally when their adult kids don’t want their furniture and other possessions. But when Hall asked her 23-year-old daughter what she might want from the four-bedroom family home, the younger woman mentioned just three items.

“And I said, ‘Out of this whole house? Honey, we have nice things!’” says Hall, author of several books, including “How to Clean Out Your Parents’ Estate in 30 Days or Less.” “I started to sound like my clients.”

In my latest for the Associated Press, how to not take it personally when your kids don’t want your treasures.