All 12 winners of the Moonjar Money Boxes have been notified, but I’ve only heard back from 8 of you. If I don’t hear back from the other four, the prizes will be awarded to other entrants. So: SUZY, JENNIFER S., EMILY B. and KATHY L., check your email (and your spam filter) and get back to me soonest!
Could son’s unpaid bills harm parents’ credit? Maybe
Dear Liz: Our 24-year-old son lives with us. He failed out of college, has been fired from two restaurant jobs and is working part time at a grocery warehouse. He has neglected to pay his credit card for several months. He also waits until his cellphone carrier threatens to turn off his phone before he pays half of that bill. We are concerned that his poor payment history may start to reflect on our good credit histories. We are retired and may want to build a new house. His bills are sent to our address, and creditors call our home phone number looking for him.
Answer: His debts shouldn’t affect your credit reports and scores unless you cosigned loans or other credit accounts or added him as a joint user to your credit cards.
Note the word “shouldn’t.” It’s possible that an unethical collection agency would try to get you to pay these bills by posting the overdue accounts on your credit reports. That could negatively affect your scores. Check your credit reports at least once a year at http://www.annualcreditreport.com. You also may want to consider ongoing credit monitoring, which can alert you if any collections or other suspicious activity shows up on your reports.
Speaking of unethical actions, you need to consider the possibility that your son could steal your financial identity. He probably has access to the information he would need to open new accounts in your name, including your Social Security numbers. His failure to pay his bills, even though it appears he can, indicates some moral shortcomings. He may not be low enough to rip off his parents, but if you have any suspicions about his trustworthiness, consider putting a credit freeze (also known as a security freeze) on your credit reports. This freeze should prevent anyone from opening credit accounts in your name.
Finally, you can write letters to creditors telling them to stop contacting you. You run the risk that such a letter could lead a creditor to sue your son. But his creditors may sue him anyway if he doesn’t respond to their requests for payment.
Stepdaughter wants “everything”: what does she deserve?
Dear Liz: Your column from the person who wanted “heirlooms” from her stepfather is applicable to my situation. My husband’s daughter wants literally everything in my house, even though he and I commingled our assets 23 years ago and have been married more than 10 years. How do I access public records to see if her mother did have a will?
Answer: It’s interesting that your husband can’t clear up this mystery. Presumably he would know whether his late wife had a will and what it said.
You can check with probate court of the county where she died to determine if a will was filed. If she had a living trust, that would be private and probably not filed with the court, but your husband should know what it said.
If she had no will or living trust, then your husband was supposed to follow state law in dividing up her possessions. In community property states, without a will or trust he typically would inherit stuff acquired during their marriage, plus a share of any separately held assets — possessions she brought to the marriage, said Burton Mitchell, an estate planning attorney with Jeffer Mangels Butler & Mitchell in Los Angeles. In other states, your husband might inherit half of her assets, with the other half divided among her children, Burton said.
State laws vary widely and there are all kinds of exceptions to the general rules, so you may need a lawyer’s help in sorting out what belongs to whom.
In any case, you’d be smart to hire an estate-planning attorney at this point. Your stepdaughter may not be able to pursue a legal case after all this time, but she could cause trouble when you or your husband dies. Any time a relative creates a real fuss about an estate division, it’s good to get a qualified attorney’s advice as you craft your own wills or living trusts that spell out who gets what.
As you make your plans, try to be guided by kindness and compassion. Your stepdaughter may not have a legal right to lay claim to every item in your home, but letting her have items of strong sentimental value may be the right thing to do. Just think how you would feel if your father’s second wife gave your mother’s special jewelry or your grandmother’s treasured antiques to your step-siblings. Lifelong rifts and family feuds have started over less.
Then again, all parties need to remember that stuff is just stuff. What’s a precious heirloom to one generation may wind up in the next generation’s garage sale. Resolving to put relationships first, instead of possessions, can really help all sides avoid painful battles.
Friday Follows: What’s interesting out there
Here are some recent, thought-provoking articles that are worth a look:
“Get ready: inflation may hit 15%” from Kathy Kristof on MoneyWatch. Alarmist? Maybe, but there’s a lot of cheap money sloshing around in the economy right now. Once the economy heats up, that fuel could catch fire. If you don’t remember the 1970s, this is a good primer in what to do when prices skyrocket.
“Daily coupon deals may not work for buyers, sellers” from USA Today. I’ve gotten some great deals–and some real stinkers. Some businesses benefit, others don’t. What do you think?
“Bouncing back” from another friend, Melissa Balmain, on Success. How people find the strength to go on in tough times, and how to develop your own “resistance muscle.”
“Bulls, bears and bailouts” from ProPublica captures the highlights of a Reddit chat with Wall Street reporter Jesse Eisinger. Jesse’s answer to why more of the architects of the financial collapse aren’t in jail? “Prosecutors have been overly risk-averse.”
5 debit card don’ts
ShopSmart, the excellent magazine from the publishers of Consumer Reports, just came out with a list of ways you shouldn’t use your debit card. Among them:
1. Don’t use your debit card for big purchases or when you shop online. Credit cards can serve as a middleman in disputes, so you’re typically not out any money if there’s a problem.
2. Don’t take your debit card on trips. Credit cards often have travel insurance; debit cards don’t.
3. Don’t use a debit card if you’re worried about getting ripped off. You have more protections under federal law with a credit card. You’re only responsible for up to $50 in unauthorized purchases, and credit cards typically waive that small amount. “With a debit card, you can be out $500 if you don’t report the theft or loss of your card or PIN within two business days of discovering the problem,” the magazine noted.
4. Don’t rely on a debit card if you want to raise your credit score. Debit cards don’t build credit history. Credit cards do.
5. Don’t use your debit card if you want to earn money on purchases. Banks have eliminated or reduced most debit card reward programs, while many credit card issuers have enhanced theirs.
New giveaway: Moonjars!
I’m giving away twelve (12!) Moonjar Moneyboxes. If there’s a child in your life who needs to learn about money, this is a great tool. The three-part cardboard bank allows kids to divvy their cash among three categories: save, spend and share.
To enter to win, leave a comment here on my blog (not my Facebook page).
Click on the tab above this post that says “comments.” Make sure to include your email address, which won’t show up with your comment, but I’ll be able to see it.
If you haven’t commented before, it may take a little while for your comment to show up since comments are moderated. But rest assured, it will.
The winners will be chosen at random Friday night. Over the weekend, please check your email (including your spam filter). If I don’t hear from a winner by noon Pacific time on Monday, his or her prize will be forfeited and I’ll pick another winner.
Also, check back here often for other giveaways.
The deadline to enter is midnight Pacific time on Friday. So–comment away!