Q&A: Culture and parental advice

Dear Liz: You recently answered a question from a parent who wanted to know how to fix a financial issue in an adult child’s marriage. Your advice was basically to butt out. I think that may depend on culture. What if your advice saved your child’s marriage? What if it prevented your child from going into bankruptcy? Would it be worth the uncomfortable conversation? In some cultures, the approach is to butt in and confront the issue; if it causes problems, well then you deal with that also.

Answer: There may well be a culture in which the interference of in-laws is gladly received, rather than merely tolerated. There may even be people who enjoy being the target of unsolicited advice. It’s hard for some of us to imagine, but it’s certainly possible.

It’s probably safer to assume that your counsel is unwelcome and annoying unless it’s been specifically requested — and often even then.

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Comments

  1. I find I always tend to agree with your answers, and even though I have a strong financial background, I have picked up several good tips from your articles. While this article is more behavioral than financial in nature, I thought your response was still spot on. Keep up the good work! People need the reasoned financial advice that you provide every week.