Q&A: Getting sister’s house without a will

Dear Liz: When I retired in 2018, I rolled over my 403(b) teachers retirement account into a traditional IRA and made my sister sole beneficiary. I sent her a copy of that beneficiary statement showing her name, her percentage (100%), and my account number. My sister later told me in a phone call that she wished to bequeath me her house should she predecease me. She explained she didn’t have a will but she made her feelings known to our older brother. Even if I were on speaking terms with our older brother, I would find this arrangement naive. Knowing my sister, she actually believes this method is the right way to proceed with her wishes. I’m asking you to be Dear Abby, perhaps, but what do I do?

Answer: You can explain to her that if she doesn’t have a will, the laws of her state will determine who gets her house regardless of what she intended. If your sister does not have a spouse or children, and your parents are dead, you and your brother would probably inherit the home as well as the rest of her estate. You would have to negotiate what to do with the house, which could be difficult if you two still aren’t speaking.

If you can’t get her to write a will, there may be another option. Many states allow “transfer on death” deeds, which are forms that allow people to name a beneficiary for their home. This would ensure that the house is left to you and that it avoids probate, the court process that otherwise follows death.

Q&A: When an executor doesn’t heed the will

Dear Liz: My dad’s will clearly divided his estate equally between his two sons. By the time Dad died, my brother had two kids. After the funeral, my sister-in-law sat me down and told me that everything will be divided into three parts. I would get one-third and they get two-thirds, because they had the kids. This was not a request; it was, “That’s the way it’s going to be and there’s nothing you can do about it.” My brother, who was the executor, was nowhere to be seen — a pattern when dealing with money issues. This was many years ago. I was a student at the time. I went along with it but wonder to this day about the fairness of the situation.

Answer: Wonder no more. If the situation was as you describe and your brother ignored your father’s will, then he wasn’t just unfair to you. He violated the law.

Executors are supposed to follow the will’s directions to the best of their ability. If they don’t, they can be held personally responsible. But each state has statutes of limitation that give you only a certain amount of time to file a civil lawsuit in these situations. You may have a bit more time if you were a minor when all this happened, but you’d want to consult an attorney to discuss your options.

You wouldn’t be the first person done out of an inheritance by a self-dealing sibling, unfortunately. This should be a reminder to parents not to reflexively choose the oldest child, or indeed any child, to fill this role without thinking about the child’s character.

Q&A: Planning philanthropy

Dear Liz: You recently explained to a reader why it was better to make one donation of $1,000 rather than 10 donations of $100. I understand why you gave the response you did and you made some good points, especially about the importance of researching charities before you give. You also mentioned the costs each organization would incur in processing the smaller donations. As a longtime nonprofit executive, I think the social capital enjoyed by those organizations outweighs the costs. It often is helpful to the organization to be able to count that donor among their ranks to demonstrate that they have widespread support, for example, or to include that donor in future efforts to serve the community. My experience is that it’s not always just about the dollars and cents.

Answer: Thanks for adding your perspective. It’s understandable that a charity would prefer a small donation to no donation. The charity still gets some money, even after processing fees, and the opportunity to add another donor to their mailing lists.

Savvy givers, however, want as much of their money to benefit their favorite causes as possible. Giving larger donations to fewer charities is a good way to do that, since that approach minimizes processing costs as well as the volume of appeals for more donations. Also, adequately researching and monitoring 10 different charities is a tall order for most busy people. Winnowing the choices can help ensure we’re rewarding the best-run charities, rather than those that spend the bulk of their donations on fundraising and overhead.

Q&A: Living trust viewing restrictions

Dear Liz: How in the world do I find out the details of my parents’ trust? My father recently died and my mother, who is 89, is not familiar with the details. My older sister is not responsive when I ask questions. She and I are the only children. My husband recently became disabled and it would be a comfort to know if we had any money coming from my parents. Can you give me any advice?

Answer: Presumably you’re asking about a living trust, which is designed to avoid probate, the court process that otherwise follows death. Unlike wills, living trusts don’t have to be filed with the courts so you can’t go down to the county courthouse to look up the details.

Living trusts are revocable trusts, which means they can be changed. People other than the trust creators don’t typically have a right to see the trust until it becomes irrevocable.

In the past, part of a living trust often became irrevocable when one spouse died. Today, it’s more common for trusts to remain revocable until the surviving spouse dies.

To some extent, state law determines who gets to see a copy of the trust once it’s irrevocable. Typically beneficiaries have a right to see the trust, and in some states (including California) so do “heirs at law” — people who aren’t beneficiaries but who would have inherited under state law if there had been no trust or will.

Q&A: Here’s a primer on all those estate planning documents

Dear Liz: Our dad’s kidneys are failing. Our mother passed away awhile ago, so it’s just me and my sister. He has a will, and my sister is on his bank account, but how do we handle the house transfer? Do we need a living will? We don’t want it to go into probate. We are splitting everything equally.

Answer: Losing a parent is stressful, so it’s good that you have your father’s estate-planning document to guide you. If it was properly drawn, it will name an executor who will handle the details of settling his bills, paying his creditors and transferring his remaining assets to his heirs.

If the executor happens to be you or your sister, you’ll be able to hire an attorney to help you and pay for it out of the estate’s assets. Having an attorney can help make the process much smoother and help avoid potentially costly mistakes.

You asked about a living will, but that’s a document designed to communicate someone’s wishes regarding end-of-life medical care. Living trusts are the documents that can avoid probate, the court process that otherwise follows death.

In many states, including California, probate also can be avoided with a “transfer on death” deed. If your father is still able to make decisions, you might want to hire the attorney now to advise you about which document makes the most sense.

Q&A: Keeping a bequest from doing harm

Dear Liz: I am leaving a good friend a bequest in my will. He receives government benefits, including disability, Supplemental Security Income and Medi-Cal (California’s version of Medicaid). I am beginning to be concerned that if he inherits the money, it could mess him up more than help him. Is there a way to leave someone like my friend a bequest without jeopardizing the various benefits they now receive?

Answer: You’ll want an attorney experienced in “special needs trusts” to help you put language into your estate plan that can help shelter this money and protect your friend’s benefits.

Your concern is well founded because a direct inheritance could cause him to lose income and health coverage. SSI and Medi-Cal are both “means tested” programs that require people to have less than $2,000 in assets. All too often, well-meaning friends and relatives leave direct bequests that have the unintended consequence of separating the recipients from vital services they need to survive.

Q&A: Mom’s 94; one son handles her money, another wants more access to it

Dear Liz: I have two younger brothers, and the youngest was chosen as the executor of our widowed mother’s estate. The problem is that he doesn’t understand financials. Mom is 94. Her entire estate is invested in blue-chip stocks. The portfolio was carefully planned by our uncle and closely tracks the Dow Jones industrial average. With her present holdings, she has enough to live indefinitely in her nursing home.

Her portfolio is up 40% in the last two years, but my brother is worried that the stock market is going to crash. She could give me up to $15,000 a year, but he’s telling her $500 a month for each brother is good. I’m a retired electrical engineer and have managed contracts for the military worth many millions of dollars. Can I challenge my brother’s ability to manage our mother’s finances?

Answer: Sure, if you want to open up an all-out family war at this stage of your life. A better approach might be a collaborative one, in which the three brothers seek outside, expert advice to handle Mom’s affairs.

You might have been terrific at managing military contracts, but that doesn’t give you the background in taxes, estate planning and investment management that’s required in this situation. You may be overestimating how much her portfolio has grown — the Dow is up about 25% in the last two years, not 40% — while underestimating both the risk of a downturn and the effect of larger withdrawals.

Your brother, meanwhile, is understandably concerned about a portfolio that’s 100% invested in stocks. That would be a lot of risk, even if your mom had decades to ride out any downturn (which, obviously, she doesn’t). Remember that the stock market lost roughly half its value a decade ago and lost about 90% during the Great Depression.

If your mom’s portfolio could take such a hit and still produce enough for her to live on, then larger distributions might make sense. Maximizing the annual gift tax exclusion, which allows her to give away $15,000 a person without filing gift tax returns, may be desirable if her estate is worth more than $11 million and could be subject to estate taxes. If she’s not wealthy, though, distributing $45,000 each year to three of you could increase her risk of running out of money.

A fee-only financial planner could analyze that risk and recommend a prudent course of action. The planner also could help arrange the necessary documents that would allow your brother to manage your mom’s financial affairs. Right now, it’s not clear whether those are in place.

Your brother is not yet the executor, because your mother is still alive and executors are in charge of distributing an estate after someone dies. If she wants him to make decisions for her should she become incapacitated, she should give him her power of attorney or name him as the successor trustee of her living trust. Otherwise, he probably would need to go to court to be named conservator.

It may rankle that your mom put him in charge of her estate, rather than you. If he’s trustworthy, though, you should put aside the idea of challenging him for control, especially if your main motivation is to get your inheritance early. Instead, offer to assist him in finding the professional advice he needs to help your mother and work together to make sure her remaining years are as free of family drama as possible.

Q&A: There can be legal pitfalls in DIY estate planning

Dear Liz: You answered a letter from a reader who was asked to be the executor of a friend’s estate. The reader was worried about being pulled into a lawsuit because the friend planned to disinherit a brother. You mentioned that the friend’s estate will pay the legal fees and other expenses if the brother contests the will and that executors can be compensated for their time. You also should have mentioned the importance of hiring an experienced attorney when disinheriting someone because there are a lot of ways this can go wrong.

Answer: Even Nolo, the self-help legal publisher, warns people that they need to hire an attorney if their estate plans are likely to be contested. A do-it-yourself estate plan can wind up costing far more than it saves if the parties wind up in court.

Q&A: The gift of organization

Dear Liz: You recently responded to a widow whose pension income stopped on her husband’s death. She was told the company had no record that he had chosen a “joint and survivor” option that would have continued the pension for her lifetime. This is outright fraud and elder abuse. My mother was given the same answer by an insurance company when my father died after collecting his pension for 25 years. If someone signs up for a “single life” pension that ends at death, the company will always have a record.

If you select the surviving spouse option, their standard operating procedure is to say they have no record. They prey on the elderly hoping the surviving spouse has dementia or lost their contract. Before my father died, other surviving spouses told my parents and me about this practice, so my parents kept all their retirement papers in a safe place. When I told the insurance company representative that I had the contract in front of me, her attitude changed from combative to helpful. She said, “I will mail you the paperwork to sign, and include a copy of the contract when you mail it back.”

Answer: Having a copy of the contract seems to be key in getting such conflicts resolved. Let’s hope the original letter writer still has this essential document that can prove her case.

Many people hang on to way too much paperwork because most of it will never be needed or can be retrieved or re-created. Documents relating to pension choices are among the exceptions. To be useful, though, important documents must be not only kept but also accessible. A contract buried in a pile of utility bills may never be found. Having an organized filing system and keeping it maintained can be a gift to yourself and your family.

This year’s natural disasters, including hurricanes and fires, remind us that just having paper versions of documents isn’t enough. It’s a good idea to scan important documents and store copies at another site, on a secure internet site or (preferably) both.

Q&A: What to consider before becoming an estate executor

Dear Liz: A lifelong friend has made me executor of his will. He has one brother who is named in the will only to be told that he is not included. My friend’s estate is left to two other lifelong friends. If his brother protests the will, what are my duties or liabilities? Can I be pulled into court at my own expense and time? Should I tell my friend that I don’t want the role?

Answer: Being an executor can be a huge hassle, but it’s also an honor and a way to offer a final, loving gesture to your friend. Learn as much as you can about the situation before deciding whether to refuse.

If the brother does contest the will, typically your friend’s estate will pay the legal fees and other expenses. Executors also can be compensated, with the amount determined by the will. If there’s no mention of a fee in the will, state law determines how much the executor can be paid. The fee would be taxable income to the executor. It’s certainly worth discussing the potential costs and fees with your friend before you decide whether to take on this role.

Family members and friends often waive the executor’s fee as a gesture of goodwill, but there’s no requirement to do so. The job typically requires considerable time and effort, even when unhappy relatives aren’t threatening lawsuits. Also, executors can be held legally and financially liable for mistakes. If you do take on this role, consider hiring an attorney to guide you through the process. The attorney’s fees also can be paid by the estate.