Dear Liz: I am 88. My wife who is 81 has Alzheimer’s but not so bad that we cannot do most things together as before. My younger daughter, an attorney, wants me to sign an agreement that will make it a little more problematic for me to access my substantial financial accounts. She thinks somehow I will get tricked into giving the money to some scam artist. I like the idea of being protected but do not care to have her being able to decide if I can spend my own money as I see fit. She says the document can be deleted by me at any time, but I still feel put upon.
Answer: Take this document to your estate planning attorney for a review. The attorney can help you assess whether this is the best approach or if there are other ways to keep you safe.
If you don’t have an attorney, get one. Estate planning is not a do-it-yourself endeavor when you’re both in your 80s and one of you has dementia.
You’re understandably in a “live for today” mode. You’re focusing, for example, on what you and your wife can still do, rather than on the cognition she’s lost or the losses yet to come. Your daughter’s focus on the future may feel like an imposition, but the reality is that you won’t become less vulnerable to fraud, scams and plain bad decisions as time passes.