Dear Liz: When my husband’s brother passed away last year, he left a sizable estate to his second wife of five years (the mother of his children died 10 years ago). He left nothing to his two adult sons or young grandchildren. But the most troubling part was that he left no provision for his 29-year-old daughter who has disabilities and was still living in her childhood home.
Within months, the wife demanded that this young woman leave the property. The stepmother’s comment was, “Not my child, not my problem.”
We helped our niece move to our home and apply for Social Security disability and Medicare. She now is able to see doctors about her condition. She couldn’t remember the last time she had seen a doctor, which was probably in her teens when her mother was still alive.
A wheelchair has been ordered that will enable her to go out. She has a bank account and had to be taught how to use a credit card at the store and ATM. She started classes in early September to get her high school diploma. Her brothers are stunned that she is able to do all of these things.
I am thrilled for her and the progress she’s making, but I am furious with my late brother-in-law and the attorneys who completed his will. The attorneys were aware of this young woman and her needs, yet did not counsel her father to make provisions for her.
Answer: Your fury is understandable, but it’s not a given your brother-in-law got bad advice. It could well be that the attorneys counseled him about his options for caring for his special-needs daughter, and he simply ignored them. Given his long history of ignoring his daughter and her needs, that wouldn’t be surprising.
I am 83 years old and would like to have long term care. I am confused and would like to know the many options available.