Dear Liz: If your in-laws promised you and their son their house, and have for over 20 years, and the whole family is aware that was the plan — your mother-in-law even had a will and a deed made up — do you think the executor of the estate has the right to do away with the will and take matters into her own hands? Do you think the daughter-in-law and the son have a right to stick up for what the parents wanted?
Answer: There’s a big difference between drafting documents and executing them.
Presumably the deed wasn’t executed, or used to legally transfer the house into your names. Otherwise this dispute wouldn’t be happening. Is the same true of the will? In other words, did your mother-in-law sign it in the presence of disinterested witnesses (people who don’t inherit)?
If the will was properly executed, then in most states it must be filed with the probate court. The executor is supposed to follow the will’s dictates to the extent possible. (If your mother-in-law left more debts than assets, for example, there might not be enough left over to distribute according to a will.)
What seems likely is that your husband’s mother failed to follow through on her promise. If that’s the case, and there is no will, then the executor is obliged to follow state law to determine who gets what.
The results may not be what you hope. The home may need to be sold to pay creditors or to allow an equitable distribution of assets among all the legal heirs.
This assumes the executor is living up to her fiduciary duty. If she truly is taking matters into her own hands, however — deciding how the estate will be distributed without reference to a will or state law — then you and your husband should hire an attorney to file a lawsuit in probate court to get her removed and replaced with someone more responsible.