Failed business loan strains couples’ finances

Dear Liz: We took a home equity loan against our house to open a business in 2006. We also ran up credit card debt for the business. The business went under, and we’re struggling to pay off the loan, which is $150,000 (a $1,150 payment every month), and the credit card debt, which we got down to about $20,000 from $37,000. Is there any way to get relief from the loan since it was a legitimate business (a franchise we bought from another franchisee)? We don’t know what to do and have been taking money out of our savings to pay the debt.

Answer: Your home equity lender doesn’t care whether you spent the money on a “legitimate business” or an around-the-world cruise. The lender expects to get paid, and chances are it will, since you secured the loan with your house. Failing to pay a home equity loan can trigger a foreclosure.

If you have equity in your home, you may be able to do a cash-out refinance of your current mortgage to pay off the loan. You’d wind up with a bigger primary mortgage, but a longer payback period and a lower interest rate should reduce your total debt payments. Another option is to sell your home to pay off the debt so you can start over.

What you shouldn’t do is dip into your savings without a real strategy for resolving this debt. A session with a fee-only financial planner could help you understand your options. The planner also may suggest a consultation with a bankruptcy attorney.

Should daughters be forced to give money to Mom?

Dear Liz: I read with interest your recent column about the filial obligation law possibly coming into effect in California. I hope this is true. I have three grown daughters who make terrific money and who will not offer a pittance to me. I live on Social Security, period. I could really use a few hundred dollars a month to supplement. They had a glorious childhood and this is really sad and inexplicable. I want to contact someone involved with this law, if possible. I am puzzled and hurt. More than money, this situation has a strange malignity to it.

Answer: Currently, California’s filial responsibility law — which makes adult children responsible for supporting their indigent parents — isn’t being enforced. When similar laws in other states have been invoked, it’s typically because the parent is receiving governmental aid or has racked up a bill with a nursing home that wants to get paid.

One of the reasons the laws aren’t enforced is because most people feel an obligation toward their parents. The fact that your daughters apparently don’t indicates that there’s either something missing in their characters or in your characterization of the situation.

Here’s another perspective:

Dear Liz: I am 67 and live in a retirement home. I strongly feel that children should not have to take care of their parents. We all have time to save for our own futures. I left a marriage with very little other than a small child. We did lots of free events together because there was not money to spend. I did immediately start saving for retirement and her college. It all worked out, but had it not, I would not expect her to support me in my old age. I chose to get pregnant and have her…. She did not chose to have me!

Answer: Thanks for sharing your experience. My guess is that if your financial life had not worked out — if you hadn’t been able to save enough or if your savings had been wiped out — your daughter happily would have stepped up to help if she could. People who do their best to take care of themselves often find the support that isn’t offered to those who don’t.

Tuesday’s need-to-know money news

Today’s top story: Compiling your year-end tax list. Also in the news: What high schoolers need to know about personal finance, smart money moves for uncertain times, and what hip hop can teach us about finance.

Your Year-End Tax To-Do List
It’s not too late to add deductions.

What Do High Schoolers Need to Know About Personal Finance?
More than you’d think.

4 Smart Personal-Finance Moves for Treacherous Times
Preparing for possible impending doom.

10 Personal Finance Tips From Hip-Hop Lyrics
No, you’re not hallucinating.

5 Steps to Consider if You Can’t Afford to Retire
Whatever you do, don’t panic.

Monday’s need-to-know money news

Today’s top story: Mistakes to avoid while holiday shopping. Also in the news: Maximizing your retirement goals, conversations to avoid during the holidays, and five store credit cards that are worth applying for.

5 Holiday Money Mistakes
Don’t let your purchases be driven by guilt.

Three must-dos to maximize retirement goals
Getting the most from your retirement planning.

5 Money Conversations You Should Never Have During the Holidays
AKA How to avoid a food fight.

5 Store Credit Cards That Are Worth It
Finding the cards with the most benefits.

Roth or Regular: Which IRA Should You Choose
Solving the IRA puzzle.

Wednesday’s need-to-know money news

Today’s top story: Avoiding panic on Black Friday. Also in the news: Shopping strategies for Black Friday, how to earn the most credit card rewards during holiday shopping, and what to consider before applying for a medical credit card. Gift

How to Avoid Panic Buying on Black Friday
Keep Calm and Shop On.

How to Win Black Friday: Shopping Strategies
Getting your gameplan on.

5 Black Friday tricks to avoid
How not to fall for retail tricks.

Earn The Most Credit Card Rewards During Your Holiday Shopping 2013
Stocking up rewards as stuff the stockings.

What to Consider Before Applying for a Medical Credit Card
Pay close attention to interest rates and hidden fees.

Will you shop on Thanksgiving?

Mother and son outdoors at winterI once made a disparaging comment to a friend about people who rush the doors of their local retailers to snag Black Friday deals.

She told me I was being elitist. I had money to buy nice presents for my family. Many of those waiting in the cold, dark night for the Walmart doors to open didn’t, and Black Friday might be their only shot at getting something nice for their kids and spouses and parents.

She had a point. Maybe that characterization doesn’t apply to everybody caught up in the post-Thanksgiving frenzy, but it was true enough back then to make me shut my mouth about it.

Now they’re messing with Thanksgiving itself, which sucks for the employees forced to work and for the shoppers who are letting themselves be tricked into deals that usually aren’t. “The stuff on sale now will be even cheaper in a few weeks,” wrote New York Post columnist Nicole Gelinas who goes on to write:

There’s nothing wrong with marketing ploys. But there is something wrong with preying on people’s impulses to the extent that they are sacrificing time with their families for one day that shouldn’t be commercialized. Time is the real gift.

Because you know what’s next, right? After-Christmas sales…starting on Christmas morning.

Can you be too focused on paying off debt?

It’s probably my Lutheran upbringing that makes me wary of extremism in any form. Moderation in all things, doncha know.

Lately, I’m noticing extremism when it comes to paying off debt.

People think they’re doing the right thing by targeting student loans and mortgages for early payoff. But they could be hurting themselves if they’re stinting their retirement funds or leaving themselves with too little financial flexibility.

Let’s take student loans. Their interest is tax-deductible. If they’re federal loans, they have fixed rates and a number of consumer protections, including the ability to delay payments if you run into economic hard times.

Once you prepay those loans, though, the money’s gone. You can’t borrow it back, as you could with a line of credit.

I just heard of another family that rushed to pay off student debt, only to face an emergency fund on fumes when the father was furloughed.

Mortgage pre-payers face a similar problem these days. Before the financial crisis, they could have opened a new equity line even if their incomes were diminished or non-existent. These days lenders are wary of anyone who’s lost a job, which can make borrowing against a home problematic when you’re facing a financial crisis.

One solution is to open a home equity line of credit and keeping it open and unused for emergencies. Another is to simply make sure your debt payoff strategy makes sense with your larger financial picture. If you’re not saving enough for retirement or emergencies, those should be your priorities long before you target low-rate, tax-deductible debt.

Tuesday’s need-to-know money news

Today’s top story: How to save on your healthcare costs. Also in the news: Planning a successful retirement, how to handle new found wealth, and nine surprising stats on Social Security.

4 Ways to Save on Healthcare Costs
Preparing for January’s change in health care costs.

3 Phases of Successful Retirement Planning
Customizing your retirement planning based on your age.

Inheriting a Windfall: How to Handle Sudden Wealth
What to do once the shock wears off.

Nine surprising Social Security statistics
In 2012, 20% of the United States received Social Security.

Don’t Fall for these Credit, Gift Card Pitfalls and Gotchas
The importance difference between gift cards and pre-paid cards.

Single mom’s expenses leave no money for food

Dear Liz: I’m a single mom with three kids. My mortgage is $1,700. My other monthly bills include $355 for a car loan, $755 for school tuition, $350 for utilities, $790 for credit cards, $200 for gas, $208 for braces and $235 for a 401(k) contribution. This leaves no money for food. I get no child support. How can I pay down my credit card debt? I don’t have any money for a baby sitter or I could get a second job.

Answer: The way you pay down credit card debt is by reducing expenses and increasing income to free up extra cash. If that’s not possible, you may need to consider bankruptcy, given the amount of debt you’re carrying.

If you’re paying only the minimums on your credit cards, that monthly bill indicates you have close to $40,000 in credit card debt. Since you can’t cover your basic expenses, you’re probably adding to that debt pile every month. That needs to stop.

You don’t say why you aren’t receiving child support, but if the father isn’t dead or disabled he should be helping to support his kids. Your state has an enforcement agency that can help you. Child support enforcement is often part of a state’s social services department, although it may also be offered by the state attorney general or its revenue (tax) department.

One obvious, if painful, place to trim is private school tuition. If the school can’t offer you financial aid, you should consider placing your kids in the best public school you can manage.

What you don’t want to do is trim your retirement plan contribution. You’re probably getting a company match, which is free money you’ll need to sustain yourself in retirement.

In general, your “must have” expenses — shelter, transportation, food, utilities, insurance and minimum loan payments — should equal no more than 50% of your after-tax income. If your must-haves exceed that level, it will be tough to make ends meet, particularly if you’re trying to pay off debt and save for the future.

“Look back” rules limit Medicaid transfers

Dear Liz: You had an interesting column recently about the filial responsibility laws that most states have on their books requiring adult children to support indigent parents. I have friends that transferred their parents’ funds to the grandchildren so the parents will qualify for Medicaid. Doesn’t the government see through this scam? Besides being unethical, it should be illegal.

Answer: The government does indeed see through transparent attempts to artificially impoverish older people to qualify for Medicaid, which offers nursing home care for the indigent.

Medicaid has “look back” rules that examine asset transfers made within the previous five years. Transfers made during that period can delay the older person’s eligibility for the program. In other words, your friends’ maneuvers may well backfire. You should advise them to consult an elder law attorney. Referrals are available from the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys at http://www.naela.org.