Answer: There’s a lot of finger-pointing going on right now about why more mortgage modifications aren’t being done, but few would argue that lenders are doing a terrible job of communicating with their customers. You might want to consider enlisting the help of a housing counselor approved by the Department of Housing and Urban Development in your quest. The counselors’ services are free or low cost, and you can get referrals at http://www.hud.gov. Good luck.

Answer: Unfortunately, your experience is all too common — and too often people waiting for an answer from their lender wind up losing their homes to foreclosure. Lenders’ poorly trained and poorly staffed loan modification departments have created endless nightmares for homeowners trying to avoid foreclosure.

You should immediately enlist the help of a counselor approved by the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development. You can get referrals from http://www.hud.gov or by calling (800) 569-4287. The advice is free or low-cost. A counselor can help assess your situation, offer alternatives and guide you through the modification process — if a modification is still an option.

You also should read attorney Stephen Elias’ excellent book “The Foreclosure Survival Guide: Keep Your House or Walk Away With Money in Your Pocket.”

What you shouldn’t do is expect the lender to do the “right” thing, including honoring any promises or commitments made to you. The people who get loan modifications have to be tenacious, persistent and savvy about the process.

Answer: Lenders have different policies on short sales, which is when they agree to let a borrower sell a home for less than what is owed on the mortgage. You’ll need to talk to yours about what’s required. But expect your credit scores to take a major hit, whether or not you stop payments first.

A short sale typically will have exactly the same impact on your credit scores as a foreclosure, according to Fair Isaac, the company that created the leading credit scoring formula, the FICO. Fair Isaac recently released a chart showing the effects of various credit score blows, from a missed mortgage payment to a foreclosure or a short sale with a deficiency balance (which is the difference between the home sale proceeds and what you owe). Someone with FICO scores in the 780 range would lose 90 to 110 points with a single skipped payment. A short sale or foreclosure would trim 140 to 160 points from that 780 score. (You can see the charts at Fair Isaac’s Banking Analytics Blog, http://tinyurl.com/3eze2a5.) Your score will plummet that far whether or not you stop making payments before the foreclosure or short sale.

You might be able to reduce the damage from a short sale if you can convince the lender not to report the deficiency balance to the credit bureaus. Short sales without a reported deficiency balance would trim 105 to 125 points from a 780 score, according to Fair Isaac. But lenders who’ve been cajoled into a short sale often aren’t in the mood to grant you additional favors.

There are some advantages to a short sale over a foreclosure. One is that you can start the long road to credit recovery sooner, since foreclosures usually take much longer than short sales. The other bit of good news: you can qualify for another mortgage faster. Lenders typically will consider you for a home loan two years after a short sale, versus a wait of up to seven years if you let the current lender foreclose.

Before you decide, you need to read Stephen Elias’ book “The Foreclosure Survival Guide.” It’s published by Nolo, the self-help legal publisher, and is the best guide I’ve found for dealing with this nightmarish prospect.

It’s well worth the $16 you’ll spend to buy it at Nolo or Amazon. But now it’s available absolutely free on Nolo’s Web site. You don’t get a physical book or a download, but you can browse every single page on the site.

Answer: Contact a housing counselor approved by the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development. You can find links at www.hud.gov. This free counselor can review your situation and help you deal with your bank.

You may need to face the possibility that a loan modification may not help. Sometimes to create an affordable payment, lenders would have to reduce the amount you owe, which few are willing to do. Even if you do get a payment you can afford, you probably will owe more than your house is worth for many, many years to come.

To help you sort through these issues, read the Nolo book “The Foreclosure Survival Guide: Keep Your House or Walk Away With Money in Your Pocket” by attorney Stephen Elias.

The consumer part of the initiative will launch Friday at MortgageReliefOnline.com. Borrowers will be asked to provide basic information about their mortgages and will be told within seconds if they appear to qualify for new federal government plans for loan modification or refinancing or if they need debt counseling. Borrowers will be contacted within 48 hours by HUD-approved housing counselors for individualized help and advice.

“The main benefits for consumers,” FICO spokesman Craig Watts said, “are speed, anonymity/privacy, confidence that they are getting top-drawer professional counsel, cost (it’s completely free), and convenience.”

FICO is also offering lenders analytic tools to help them identify and expedite the borrowers most likely to benefit from modifications or refinancing before the loans go bad.

MakingHomeAffordable.gov has an interactive tool that will indicate whether you might benefit from the new modification/refi programs, as well as links to find a housing counselor. But the FICO initiative would seem to make finding help just that much easier.

For more on foreclosure:

• Is your home worth keeping?
• Facing foreclosure? 9 options
• A foreclosure fix: More bankruptcies
• Foreclosure nearby? It’s your problem

We have continued to interview while working $12-an-hour jobs, but now face not being able to borrow any more money. With the current government aid going to those needing mortgage help, should we stop paying on our first and second mortgage or stop paying on our other bills? We could probably make it if we could refinance, but without “real jobs” and enough income to cover our debts today, I would not think we would qualify.

Answer: You’re probably right. The days of people getting mortgages without being able to document sufficient income are over.

You understandably hoped for better days, but by refusing to drop your expenses below your income you’ve essentially squandered your retirement and borrowed yourself into a corner.

You still may have some options. The Homeowner Affordability and Stability Plan announced by President Obama does not require that you default on your mortgage before you can get help. You should contact a housing counselor approved by the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development to review your options. You can find referrals to HUD-approved counselors from a link on the department’s home page, www.hud.gov.

But you also should talk to a bankruptcy attorney. Having to choose between paying your mortgages and paying your other bills indicates a debt load that may be too high even if you do get mortgage relief.

Actually, you should have consulted a bankruptcy attorney before you touched your retirement accounts or home equity. Those assets could have been protected from creditors and you at least could have emerged from this crisis with something for your future.

Some tips from the American Institute of Certified Public Accountants to get you started:

Homeowners who lost their home to foreclosure or had their mortgage restructured do not pay tax on the amount of debt the lender discharged under the Mortgage Forgiveness Debt Relief Act of 2007.  This break only applies to your principal residence. It does not apply to a second home or vacation home. Married taxpayers can exclude up to $2 million and single taxpayers up to $1 million.

Investors who lost money in taxable accounts may be able to deduct these capital losses. To qualify, you must have sold at a loss by Dec. 31, 2008. (Sorry – good only for taxable accounts. So losses in your IRAs, 401-k plans or 529 college savings plans do not qualify.) You can use the losses to offset any profits made from selling bonds, property or stocks. Also, up to $3,000 of losses not used to offset capital gains can be deducted from other income. If your losses exceed these amounts, you can apply the remaining losses in future years.

Job changers who move to take a new post might be able to deduct moving expenses.  To qualify, your new workplace must be at least 50 miles farther from your former home than your previous workplace was from that home. There’s also a time rule. The time test, according to the IRS, generally requires you work full-time for at least 39 weeks during the 12 months immediately after your move.  Keep good records of your moving expenses, but note that meals are not a deductible moving expense.

Job seekers should track what you spent during your job search. Costs to print your resume or hiring a consultant to help with the search are deductible.

Low-income workers can benefit from the earned income credit (EITC), a refundable tax credit worth up to $6,500. If you were married filing jointly and earned less than $41,646 ($38,646 for individuals, surviving spouses or heads of household) in 2008, you may qualify. It’s complicated, but the EITC is worth exploring if you or someone you know has low earnings.

Check out some of my answers to reader questions on taxes:

• How long should you hang onto financial records?

• Bummer: Last year’s homebuyer credit still has to be repaid

• My son doesn’t declare income from renting out rooms