Good heavens.

The column “Holiday tipping: When it’s okay to skip” points out that holiday tips are voluntary and can be reduced or eliminated if you’re in tough financial straits.

Now, I knew that some people don’t know what a holiday tip is. I hear from them every year when my holiday tipping columns run, because they think I invented the custom and they want to let me know how outraged they are that I did so. I typically get as many emails from those folks as I do from the people who want their particular job category added to the list of those who customarily get holiday tips. (This includes a fair number of mail carriers. For the record, federal regulations prevent U.S. Postal Service mail carrier from accepting cash tips or any gift worth more than $20. A federal job with civil service pension isn’t worth risking for a few extra bucks at the holidays.)

But the outraged servers are new, so I’ve asked MSN to add a paragraph defining what a holiday tip is: an extra, voluntary payment given in December to acknowledge good service throughout the year.

To be clear: you don’t get to stiff your server, or your cab driver, or your bell hop, because it’s the holidays. Or because you don’t agree with the whole idea of tipping, or because you’re just a grump. If you’re not going to tip, you shouldn’t use services where tipping is expected.

Answer: Many people love to give and get gift cards precisely because they circumvent the thoughtfulness and planning you so enjoy. But others use them to cope with near-impossible gift situations, such as the following:

Answer: How about a donation to a charity in her honor? She’ll hate it just as she hates every other gift you’ve gotten her, but at least you could get a tax deduction for your trouble.

So, you can find it here. It certainly isn’t slick, but you may find it helpful. The first section helps you not only plan and budget for gifts, but allows you to keep track of what you’ve acquired and where you’ve hidden it.

There are sections for holiday decorating, entertaining and travel as well. The numbers included are just placeholders–you can replace them with your own.

You can also add extra lines (if you have more gift recipients, for example). As long as you do so above the lines that have “total” in them (gift total, decor total, etc.), your new line and its numbers should be included in the totals.

I’d love to hear if you think this will be helpful and if you have any suggestions for additions or improvements. Thanks!

That can’t possibly be right, I thought, but it is: Hannukah starts Dec. 2 this year. Those who celebrate Christmas have a little more time to prepare: Dec. 25 is 15 weeks from today.

For most of us, the Big Spend starts earlier, as we gather friends and family for Thanksgiving.

So it’s a great time to open a savings subaccount earmarked “holidays” at your favorite online bank or credit union, and start shoveling in the cash. If you spend what the National Retail Federation said was average last year for the holidays–$683–you’ll need to put aside $45.53 a week between now and Christmas (or $56.92 if you celebrate Hannukah).

Also read this great post from Trent at Simple Dollar about stopping, or altering, traditional gift exchanges.

This year, it looks like the extended Weston clan will be skipping most adult-to-adult gifts in favor of a trip together to a favorite national park. Given that experiences and relationships contribute more to happiness than stuff, I think we made a great choice.

Other expenditures may seem like splurges, but are well worth the money. Here are my nominations; feel free to add yours in the comments.

Valet parking at the mall in December. They could charge me $20 or even more, and I’d think it was a bargain to avoid the endless circling looking for a parking spot. So far, though, the most I’ve paid is $8 plus a tip, and many places charge less.

Oil changes. I used to do this myself—yuck. Now my trusted mechanic does it, and checks all the tanks and belts and other do-dads while he’s at it. He also has to dispose of the oil properly, another yucky task I’m happy to delegate.

Date night. Even when money was tight, hubby and I went out to eat once in awhile. There’s something about being out of the house, where we weren’t constantly reminded of all the chores we had to do, that helped us relax and focus on each other. Now that we have a kid, date night is even more important.

Preventative care and screenings. We have a high-deductible health insurance policy, which means we pay out of pocket for a lot of our health care. I don’t enjoy shelling out huge wads of money when a trip to Paris isn’t involved, but my mom died of a cancer that could have been detected and cured with a simple screening. So spend it we do.

Charitable donations. MSN contributor Donna Freedman has written frequently about how important she feels it is to give, even on her super-tight student budget. Through thick and thin, we’ve tried to keep up our giving, as well. This year, we feel especially blessed, and it’s been fun to involve our daughter in our end-of-the-year donation decision-making. (She likes cheetahs, so some of our contributions will be going to a cheetah preservation fund.) We’re also making a donation to Heifer.org, so I get to say, “I’m getting a water buffalo for Christmas!”

Whatever holiday you celebrate, may you have a joyous and peaceful one and a happy new year.

photo credit: Russ Beinder

I’m hearing from lots of people who plan to only spend cash this holiday season to stay within their budgets.

A recent USAA survey found more than half of respondents planned not to use credit cards at all, and 85% planned to pay cash for at least some purchases. Two-thirds planned to use more cash than last year.

I’m all for restraining spending and avoiding debt, but cash has quite a few disadvantages, such as:

Cash is easily lost or stolen. So are credit and debit cards, of course, but plastic comes with zero-liability protection. With credit cards, particularly, loss or theft is almost a non-issue; your card is quickly replaced and you move on.

There’s no “court of appeals.” Credit card issuers serve as middlemen when you have a dispute, a function I’ve had to use a few times. Unless you absolutely, positively trust the merchant to do right by you, you’re better off with that extra layer of protection.

There’s no purchase protection. Most gold and platinum cards will pay to replace your purchases if they’re lost, stolen or damage. Coverage varies by card, but you typically can get reimbursed for incidents that happen within 60 to 90 days of purchase.

Debit cards and prepaid cards aren’t really a good substitute for cash. Not only do they lack credit cards’ protections, but they have their own disadvantages: ridiculous fees in the case of prepaid cards, and the possibility of overdrafts in the case of debit cards.

If you really can’t control your spending without cash, then by all means, use cash. If you want to avoid debt without giving up credit cards’ advantages, though, here’s another approach to try:

Draw up your holiday budget. Include your list of gift recipients and how much you plan to spend on each. Also include travel, decorating and entertaining costs. Adjust as needed until you have a spending plan that doesn’t require you to add to your debt.

Set aside that money. You can transfer the whole amount to savings before you start shopping, or transfer as you go: as soon as you get back from shopping, log on to your bank and shift the amounts on your receipts from checking to savings. When the bills come, transfer the money back into your checking account and pay it off in full. Or you can make payments to your credit card as you go; most credit card issuers allow you to make payments weekly, if not more often.

photo credit: christopher.woo

The countdown to the holidays has begun, and if you’re like most people you’re trying not to spend a fortune this year. If the usual “make a pretty basket of soaps!” advice isn’t cutting it, here are some suggestions that might work for you:

Start later. Shopping all year round can help you snag some pretty good deals, but typically, the longer you shop, the more you spend. Retailers have been saving their biggest discounts until late in the season, so if you can stand to wait, consider doing the bulk of your shopping in one concentrated burst later in the season. (One example: DealNews.com says high-end, name-brand flat-screen LCD TVs were 8%-12% cheaper last December than at any point in November, including Black Friday and Cyber Monday.) Free shipping offers start to get scarce about a week before Christmas, but DealNews CEO Dan de Grandpre predicts you may be able to find free shipping as late as Dec. 22 or 23 at some sites. If you opt to do your shopping last minute at the mall, be sure to bring your helmet and pads.

Have the talk. The easiest way to trim costs is to trim the gift exchange. Many families buy gifts only for the kids, or pull names from a hat, or gang up to buy more expensive presents (which is a great approach for teenagers, mothers-in-law and other picky recipients). Suggest to friends that you bypass presents in favor of experiences—coffee out, a pedicure together, a movie and popcorn.

Use your rewards. Most credit cards these days have some kind of rewards program attached. You may be able to can use your rewards points to buy merchandise, gift cards and magazine subscriptions. If you’re feeling really generous, you can use frequent traveler points to get someone a free night at a hotel, a free airplane ticket or an upgrade to first class.

No “Secret Santas.” The recession should have killed this half-baked notion of buying presents for co-workers and others whose tastes and proclivities you shouldn’t be expected to know. If not, counter with a better idea: the white elephant gift exchange, which is at least fun for all participants. Set a low limit on the amount that can be spent ($10 is good, $5 is better), put the gifts in a pile and give each person a chance to pick. Each subsequent person can pick from the pile or steal from the previous pickers. Hilarity ensues.

Give heirlooms. Don’t wait until you’re dead to pass on family jewelry, china, photos or Great Uncle Phil’s banjo-playing taxidermied frogs. Declutter while you’re still around to enjoy the reaction.

photo credit: quaglia

Targeted accounts are the best thing to happen to savers since compound interest. But too few people use them, or understand how much easier they can make the budgeting process.

A targeted account is simply a savings account that you designate for a single purpose. You can set up different targeted accounts for specific goals, such as vacations and home improvements, as well as for recurring expenses such as car repairs, holiday spending, quarterly tax payments and insurance premiums.

These individual “buckets” of savings can help you track your progress to your goals and make sure you have the money you need, when you need it. When all your savings are jumbled together in one account, it’s too easy to overspend–you’ll think you have enough for that vacation to Disney World only to find out you just spent the money you’d been saving for Christmas.

The easiest (and least expensive) way to set up targeted accounts is usually through an online bank such as ING Direct, Emigrant Direct or FNBO Direct. Online banks allow you to set up multiple savings accounts for free, with no minimum balance requirements or account fees, plus you can name them anything you want.

For example, I named our main savings account at our online bank “Emergency Fund” and use that to store the cash we’d need to get through several months of unemployment.

But I also have accounts for “vacation” and “sabbatical.” The vacation fund gets a monthly infusion to cover any weekend trips as well as the longer family getaways we take each year. The sabbatical fund, which will pay for a much longer trip several years in the future, also gets regular contributions.

I use other savings buckets for taxes, car repairs, home repairs, insurance payments and the holidays.

Those buckets ensure that we’ll have the money, in advance, to have fun and follow our dreams.

For more, read:

• How to plan your “emergencies”
• How to open multiple accounts at ING Direct (from Get Rich Slowly)