Answer: Ultimately you’ll be charting your own path, but it can help to have a trusted advisor point the way.

“Trusted” is the key word, obviously. Many people prefer “fee-only” (not “fee-based”) arrangements because the planner is compensated only by the fees you pay, not by commissions he or she might earn on investment products. A fee-only planner doesn’t accept commissions, while a fee-based planner might.

Something else you’ll want to determine is whether the planner is willing to say in writing that he or she is willing to act as a fiduciary. What that means is that the planner is willing to put your interests ahead of his or her own. This is a much higher standard than most advisors must adhere to by law. Typically advisors only have to recommend “suitable” investments and strategies, rather than the ones that may best serve your needs.

It’s likely that many of the professionals contacting you are not fee-only financial planners but are instead investment salespeople of some kind. If you want a good financial planner, you typically have to seek one out.

Since you have money, you can start by asking for referrals from the National Assn. of Personal Financial Advisors at http://www.napfa.org. NAPFA holds its members to high educational, experience and ethics requirements. Many of its members specialize in financial planning for high-net-worth individuals and typically charge a percentage of your assets or a retainer fee. You also could get referrals from the Garrett network mentioned above if you want to pay for advice by the hour. Both organizations’ websites have additional tips for choosing a planner.

Answer: You’re not dealing with a financial advisor who has your best interests at heart. You’re dealing with a salesman who is mostly, if not solely, concerned about the commission he’s going to earn from selling you an insurance or investment product should you take his unsound advice.

Borrowing to invest is a risky strategy. Putting your home on the line to do so is particularly unwise. The interest rates on your home equity loan may be low now, but the rate is variable and can rise substantially. If you can’t make the payments, you could lose your home.

If he were honest, this is the pitch he would have made to you: “You don’t make enough money to afford the product I want to sell to you. Therefore, I want you to put your home at risk so I can make this commission. Your borrowing costs and the costs of this investment will likely eat up most of your returns, but at least I’ll have my money.”

If he’s selling insurance, you should report him to your state’s insurance commissioner. If he’s selling stocks or other investments, report him to the Securities and Exchange Commission.

If he has any professional investment credentials — which isn’t likely, but anything is possible — you should report him to the organizations that granted those.

Remember that anyone can call himself or herself a financial advisor. There are no education, experience or ethics requirements. If you want someone who meets higher standards, look for a certified financial planner or a personal financial specialist (a designation given to certified public accountants with financial planning training).

And pay attention to how the planner is paid. A fee-only planner accepts only the fees you pay, while a “fee-based” planner may accept commissions from the products he or she sells. If you don’t want commissions to affect the advice you get, consider a fee-only planner.

Answer: Widows and widowers are often advised not to make any big decisions in the first year of their bereavement. Unfortunately, bill collectors aren’t willing to wait that long.

You need to determine your liability for your late husband’s debts. Don’t rely on what collection agents tell you. They may insist you have a legal or moral obligation to pay a bill when you don’t. An experienced probate or bankruptcy attorney can help you sort through the debts to see which ones need to be paid from your husband’s estate, which you may be responsible for and which can go unpaid. Student loan obligations, for example, typically end at death unless you or someone else co-signed the loans.

You also need to make sure you get all the money and property to which you’re entitled. You and your children may qualify for Social Security survivor benefits. (You can find out more at http://www.ssa.gov.) You also may inherit retirement funds and life insurance policies that are protected from creditors. Life insurance policies that name you as a beneficiary, for instance, pass outside your husband’s estate and don’t have to be shared with creditors — again, regardless of what collection agencies may tell you.

Once you’ve sorted out his estate, you can begin rebuilding your financial life for yourself and your children. A fee-only planner can help you get started. You can get referrals from the Garrett Planning Network at http://www.garrettplanningnetwork.com, which represents planners who charge by the hour, or the National Assn. of Personal Financial Advisors at http://www.napfa.org, which represents planners who charge retainer fees or a percentage of assets they manage for you.

Answer: It’s possible, but rather unlikely, that you were dealing with a fee-only financial planner. Some planners charge fees, but they also take commissions — and annuities tend to pay fat commissions.

If you want advice that’s free of such conflicts, you’ll need to look for a true fee-only (not fee-based) financial planner. You can get referrals from the National Assn. of Personal Financial Advisors at http://www.napfa.org or the Garrett Planning Network at http://www.garrettplanningnetwork.com.

Answer: If your advisor gets paid a commission for selling annuities, as she probably does, she’s not an objective source for you on this topic. Consider investing a few hundred dollars to consult a fee-only financial planner, who can review your financial situation and your investments and offer advice.

Variable annuities aren’t always a terrible option, but they’re a poor fit for IRAs, which already offer the tax deferral that’s a big part of an annuity’s appeal. The so-called living benefits that guarantee a certain payoff typically come at a high price, which is why you should always run these investments past an objective source before you buy.

Answer: You’ll probably have better luck with mom-and-pop landlords than with the corporate kind that run huge complexes. The mom-and-pop types tend to have more flexibility with potential renters who have tattered credit, particularly if those renters can make substantial deposits. If your parents don’t have much cash left over after bankruptcy — and they probably won’t — you may need to front them some money or consider letting them live with you while they save up.

You also should get a better idea of what caused their financial train wreck to see what you can do to help avoid further crises. If they’re suffering from diminished capacity, you may need to talk to an elder law attorney about taking over their finances for them. If they’re chronic overspenders, they may benefit from budgeting classes from a nonprofit credit counseling agency or community college. Even if the only bad decision they made was to continue borrowing against their home rather than paying it off, they could still benefit from some financial education and advice about how to live within their means. A session with a fee-only financial planner could help you all figure out what that will look like.

If you want to ask a question, the toll free number is 888-539-2980 (888-KFWB-980).

Answer: You don’t have to actually turn your life savings over to an advisor to get sound financial advice. Some fee-only planners charge by the hour to create recommendations for your portfolio, which you can then execute. You can get referrals to these fee-only, hourly planners via the Garrett Planning Network, http://www.garrettplanningnetwork.com.

You have other options, as well. Sites including FinancialEngines.com and ESPlanner.com offer software that can help you create a portfolio. Brokerages and mutual fund companies typically offer advice. Sometimes it’s offered for a flat fee; other times, you pay commissions based on the advisor’s recommendations.

If you educate yourself about investing, you may be able to do an OK job of building a portfolio on your own. But you really should consult an objective, experienced financial planner once you’re within 10 years of retirement. It’s really easy to make mistakes in the years immediately before and after retirement. If the mistakes are bad enough — retiring too soon, withdrawing too much, taking too much or too little risk — you could wind up paying for them for the rest of your life.

And we’ll probably make passing mention of my new book, “The 10 Commandments of Money: Survive and Thrive in the New Economy.”

If you just can’t wait until then to hear more, check out this MoneyWatch broadcast I did a few weeks ago with the fabulous Jill Schlesinger and the inimitable Jack Otter.

If you’re somewhere where you can’t crank up the volume (like at work–shhhhh), then you can just read the transcript of this Consumerism Commentary podcast I did with Flexo and Bryan.

Wherever you are, whatever media you like, I’m here to help you get a better handle on your money.

Need more? Consumerism Commentary recently posted this podcast, where I talk to Flexo and Bryan about my new book “The 10 Commandments of Money.” The podcast is segmented by topic so you can jump in to the area that interests you, or just listen to the whole thing.

If you’re not doing so already, you should subscribe to the podcasts at these two sites. They’re great sources of financial information and entertaining interviews to help you manage your money.