photo credit: Dax Melmer

You’ve probably heard that you shouldn’t store things you don’t use. What’s the good china for, after all, if it never graces the family table?

But Harry Rinker, HGTV’s “The Collector Inspector” and author of “Sell, Keep or Toss?,” just gave me another perspective on why we want to use our precious things. Putting the china on the table or using your Grandmother’s candlesticks or reading to your kids from your own childhood books helps your children create memories around these items. When it comes time to pass them down, your children are much more likely to want the stuff that has strong memories associated with it–rather than stuff that’s been sitting in boxes their whole lives.

My husband’s aunt just gave us the Winnie the Pooh books she loved as a child. Although they’re in delicate condition, we’re going to start reading them to our daughter, so she’ll have another way to remember her great aunt.

I’d love to hear what you’re doing to create family memories.

Answer: How nice of your husband’s family to decide how you should spend your money. But just because you appear to be better off than they are does not mean you are obligated to support the family spendthrift.

The situation might be different if your brother-in-law’s life or health were at stake, or if he suffered an unexpected financial blow. In that case, you might want to honor your spouse’s sense of obligation (while perhaps persuading the other siblings to chip in).

In reality, however, what we have is a grown man who can’t figure out how to pay an $11,000 bill without pleading with his siblings for a bailout.

Your spouse should recommend he talk to a legitimate credit counselor about a debt management program that could lower his interest rates. He can get a referral from the National Foundation for Credit Counseling at www.nfcc.org.

If you do lend the money, you of course should formalize it with a written agreement and collateral. But understand that regardless of the precautions you take, the chances of his actually repaying the loan are slim.

You also shouldn’t imagine that the shame of the unpaid debt will deter him from asking for more money the next time he gets into trouble. This man never learned self-reliance, and you won’t teach it to him by giving him more money.