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Daughter’s family is bleeding them dry

Feb 20, 2012 | | Comments Comments Off

Dear Liz: How does a family without any income qualify for assistance? My son-in-law has had an Internet business for a few years. He did okay for a while, but not lately. Because he owns his own business, he can’t get unemployment. We’re paying for everything and can’t do it much longer. My daughter has a special needs child and is a stay-at-home mom. The kids have medical insurance, but the parents don’t. What steps are available to them to get the help they so desperately need?

Answer: If your son-in-law incorporated his business and paid into his state’s unemployment fund, he may qualify for benefits. If not, he can start his search for help at Benefits.gov, which is a federal Web site with links to a variety of assistance programs.

The fact that you’re helping the family financially is a blessing to them—but the fact that you’re “paying for everything” is a huge red flag. Families can fall upon tough times, but responsible ones have some savings they can tap and are diligent about finding ways to make money, even if it’s not as much as they were able to command in the past. If they can’t make ends meet, responsible families make changes—sometimes drastic changes—until they can.

What responsible families don’t do is continue relying on relatives until those relatives are bled dry. If your son-in-law isn’t actively looking for a job, he should be. If your daughter is the more employable one and can find work, then he could take over the child-care duties.

They may not take these steps if they think they can still count on you to pay the bills, so you need to be straight with them about your inability to continue supporting their family.

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Categories : Budgeting, Q&A, The Basics